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Analysis Reveals Wizards Best 0-9 Team in NBA History

Wizards fans should not bother ourselves with conventional measures like wins and losses. The Wizards operate on a higher plane than the rest of the league -- perhaps on a mystical (?) level that can be grasped only by those with superior powers of perception, insight and desperation.

That mystical level includes appreciation of the subtleties of a moral victory (Wizards MV record now stands at a league-best 8-1), and from noting the various ways the team just keeps making history. For example, the Wiz are one of only two teams to start consecutive seasons with 8 straight losses.

This afternoon, I'm the bearer of even more good news: the Wizards are the best 0-9 team in professional basketball history. This isn't some made-up stat to make Wizards fans feel better about the winless team. I've already established that Wizards fans aren't despairing -- nay, we're celebrating the moral victories and the rewriting of record books.

It's well-established that scoring differential is a better measure of team strength than straight wins and losses. By that measure, Washington is the best 0-9 team ever -- a full 1.7 points better than the next team (the 1972-73 76ers...which went on to the glory of a 9-73 record that year).

At any rate, here's the first-ever Official 0-9 Power Rankings.

Note: Just like my regular power rankings, I've set the number one team (this year's Washington Wizards) at 100 and then scaled the lesser teams below them.

RANK  TEAM  SEASON  ScMgn  POW 
WAS 2012-13  -7.7  100 
2 PHI 1972-73  -9.3  82 
LAC  1998-99  -9.3  82 
MEM  2002-03  -9.9  78 
ATL  2005-06  -10.1  76 
IND  1988-89  -10.7  72 
PHO*  1996-97  -11.0  70 
CHI*  2004-05  -11.2  68 
CHI*  1967-68  -11.3  68 
10  DEN  1997-98  -11.3  68 
11  NJN  2009-10  -11.3  68 
12  TOR  2005-06  -11.4  67 
13  NOJ  1974-75  -13.1  58 
14  LAC  1994-95  -14.2  54 
15  CLE  1984-85  -14.4  53 
16  PHO  1985-86  -15.4  50
17  DNN  1949-50  -15.6  49 
18  CLE  1970-71  -16.3  47 
19  MIA  1988-89  -17.4  44 
20  HOU  1982-83  -17.9  43 
21  GSW  1997-98  -18.8  41 
         

* = reached playoffs

There it is -- irrefutable proof that this year's Wizards are the best 0-9 team in recorded professional basketball history. In list form and everything.

Worth noting that three of these teams went to the playoffs whereas only one went on to have the worst record in league history. That's 3-to-1, but I won't count that as a moral victory. Don't want to get greedy this early in the season.

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